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Salem Bankruptcy Law Blog

Ending toxic negativity during and after your divorce

Divorce has a negative connotation whenever it is brought up. The thought of divorce is often accompanied by shame, failure, depression, anger, bitterness and resentment. These are extremely powerful negative emotions to be carrying around inside of you. If you are going through a divorce, you know that it is not easy to disengage your mind, finances, living situation, and future from whom it was combined with.

Nevertheless, it is essential to your health and wellbeing when you can end a marriage on amicable terms. Your reaction to your present circumstances are a continual result of your perception. Negative self-talk and slander of your ex will keep you trapped in a toxic perception of your reality.

Technology can help you and your ex communicate about the kids

After a divorce, communicating with your ex gets a bit harder. If you did not get along towards the end of your marriage, you know how hard talking about the kids was then. Once you do not live under the same roof and see each other every day, it gets even more complicated.

This can be problematic. Children need support from both parents. Likewise, both parents should be aware of things like how the kids are doing in school, what their after-school schedules look like, when they have key doctor's appointments and much more.

Does your education level impact the odds of divorce?

You know that the odds of divorce can change drastically depending on varying factors in your life -- if your own parents got divorced, for instance, or how old you were when you got married. But what about the amount of education you received? Does how far you go in school have an impact on your relationship?

It absolutely does. For example, studies have found that women who do not complete a high school education have a far greater chance of getting divorced than women who go to college.

The differences between contested & uncontested divorce in NH

How well a couple got along prior to divorce doesn't necessarily have an impact on how smooth their divorce proceedings will go.

Some couples with a long track record of agreement on every detail of their lives have ended up in a contested divorce, while others, who couldn't agree on the color of the sky during their marriage, are suddenly quite amicable during the proceedings.

It can be downright impossible to predict which path a divorcing couple will take: contested or uncontested.

Tips for helping children feel happy and secure in 2 homes

If you and your ex share custody of your children, the kids likely need to live in two different homes. There are rare exceptions -- such as nesting, when the parents move in and out of the same house -- but most custody arrangements have the children move.

This can be difficult and upsetting for the kids. Here are a few tips that can help make things easier, allowing them to feel happy and secure:

  • For young children, have a set routine. You want them to know exactly what to expect when moving between houses.
  • As they grow up, though, be flexible with this routine. Kids start to get involved in more activities and they spend more time with their friends. Do not make the routine so restrictive that they resent it.
  • Communicate with your ex. Yes, you may not get along and may not enjoy talking, but you need to communicate about the children's needs at all times. Put the kids first.
  • Talk to the kids, as well. Ask them what they want and how you can make the process easier for them. Again, these things may become more relevant as they get older.
  • Never make your children pick sides. This puts a lot of stress on them. Instead, focus on showing them that you both love them and want to spend time with them, even though you are no longer married to one another.

What is straight bankruptcy?

Debt has been accumulating for years. Not only have you spent too much, but you had some unavoidable costs -- medical bills -- and you lost your job. In short, the financial situation spiraled out of control. You know that you need to find some sort of long-term solution, and you're thinking about bankruptcy.

While talking to a friend about it, he or she mentions using "straight bankruptcy." What is this and how does it differ from any other type?

Tips for when you have to live with your spouse during divorce

You ask your spouse for a divorce. You file the papers. You want this relationship to end.

In an ideal world, you would also move out. However, that it is not financially possible. You decide that you'll keep living together through the divorce and perhaps for a time afterward. It's the only thing that is affordable.

3 steps to take if you cannot afford child support

Your child support order exists to provide your kids with the financial assistance they need to live comfortably. Unfortunately, the payments are not always feasible. You may have a hard time paying child support, especially if you are dealing with a job loss or unexpected expense.

If you cannot afford the child support payments, you may fear to be in contempt of court. It is possible for you to face legal ramifications such as wage garnishments and property liens. Here are some steps you should take to resolve this situation before it gets out of hand.

Budgeting tips that help as you seek debt relief

Debt can feel like insurmountable obstacle, but it doesn't need to. There is relief from debt. You do have options. No matter how overwhelming it feels, keep that in mind.

Of course, if your debt is due to your spending habits, just looking for relief is not enough. You also have to change the way you think about money so that you do not get into debt again in the future. Here are a few budgeting tips that can help:

  • Keep track of everything you spend. Don't ignore "little" purchases. Even those morning coffees add up. Track every single cent and account for it somewhere in your budget.
  • Understand that budgets change. You need to make adjustments over time. Set it up for the first month. If it doesn't work, feel free to tinker with it until it does.
  • Set up a miscellaneous category. You do want to budget for every dollar you make, but that does not mean you know every expense in advance. Having a category like this gives you some flexibility for when things come up.
  • Plan ahead for abnormal expenses. Save up in advance. For instance, you do not need to have a "Christmas presents" category every month, but you do need one for November and December. Plan in advance and put money aside so that you're not suddenly stuck without any means of financing necessary and predictable seasonal expenses.
  • Differentiate between what you want and what you need. Start your budget with what you need, and focus on the expenses you can't avoid.

There are downsides to letting children choose where to live

Legally speaking, children cannot pick which parent to live with. The decision is not up to them alone. When forced to make a ruling, courts will favor joint custody and consider all sorts of factors, from living situations to family roles to criminal records.

The children's wishes may be taken into account, especially as they grow older, but they are not the only factor in the equation.

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