Divorce can be a result of many different problems. Finances, infidelity and communication problems are just a few of the most common. The last of these, communication, might be even more important after you separate, however. Though it may be a challenge, it is vital that you strive to maintain healthy communication habits throughout all of your interactions with your ex.
Rather than get trapped in a cycle of bitterness that makes it impossible to talk clearly, you should be conscientious and caring every time it is necessary to speak to your ex. The following three tips can help you avoid the unnecessary stress of miscommunication.
1. Do not rely on the kids to mediate
According to the New York Post, it is all too easy to put kids in the middle of a divorce. One of the most common and worst ways of doing this is to pressure them to communicate on your behalf. You should never expect your children to act as a messenger between you and your ex. This is detrimental to their well-being and adjustment.
2. Stop focusing on feelings
If you need to communicate with your ex, it is likely for a specific reason: a court date, custody issue or paperwork to be completed. Remember that your interactions are purposeful and have a goal so that you do not get sidetracked by the temptation to express your feelings. You have presumably already attempted to do so and resolve the issues. Once you are divorcing, putting those feelings aside is best.
3. Make documentation easy
Sometimes, it is legally necessary to provide documentation of the interactions you have with your ex. Communicating through methods such as text messages or email can make this easy, and it can offer the additional benefit of minimizing emotional pressure, too. While talking on the phone can be stressful, exchanging emails gives you time to contemplate a response, as well as making a straightforward record of the interaction.
The process of a divorce is inevitably stressful, but working at communication can help ease the burden.