Divorce proceedings are notorious for contention and he-said-she-said arguments. While there are amicable ways to divorce, they do not apply to every case. Dealing with a deceitful, manipulative or uncooperative spouse requires litigation.

Still, there are times when you must communicate with your spouse directly and not through lawyers. Modern technology has increased the number of communicative methods you can choose. Which ones are best to use when you are getting a divorce?

Use written records

The best way to contact your spouse is through the electronically written word so there will be records of all communication. This includes texts, emails and messaging apps. Even if your spouse deletes them, you will have copies. If you accidentally delete or lose them on your devices, you may be able to obtain them from service providers or through tech professionals. Although recovery is possible, it is smart to have second copies. Print out a revealing email, or take a screenshot of a hostile text and upload it to your cloud drive.

What to avoid

What should you do when your spouse wants to communicate in other ways? If your spouse tries to talk to you on the phone, calmly but firmly refuse to have a conversation. Request a text or email instead, or if it is an important matter to the divorce, schedule a meeting with the two of you and your lawyers. Do not fall for any bait to start an argument, as this can lead to you saying something you do not mean.

Also, be careful with your social media usage during this time. It may be best to stay off it completely. Even private settings do not guarantee privacy, and anything you post or comment on can become evidence for your spouse to use against you. One last thing to consider is selecting your words wisely and being clear to avoid misinterpretation. Although you cannot eliminate all risk of contention, you can reduce its likelihood, preserve valuable evidence and decrease the ammunition your spouse can use both during the divorce and after.