Divorce experts warn that one of the signs of an approaching divorce is when couples start living “parallel, but separate lives.”
This is often done because of other problems in the relationship. Couples may fight and argue all the time. They try to talk it over, but they get nowhere. Eventually, to reduce the amount of stress and conflict they see on a daily basis, they stop interacting with each other. It just seems easier to avoid the problem than to face it or work to change it.
Some have compared this to being “polite roommates” more than a married couple. You see each other after work. You’re civic and you avoid arguments, especially around the kids, but there’s very little emotional connection. You simply try to live your life and you leave your spouse alone to live his or hers.
Your spouse heads to the gym, you spend the evening reading a book, and you’re not even sure when he or she gets home. Maybe you’ve even started sleeping in separate rooms, or perhaps your spouse spends a lot of nights on the couch in the basement.
The specifics are different for every couple, but that gulf between your lives is the same. This isn’t to say that you cannot have separate interests, but if you actively avoid spending time together just so you will not fight, the relationship is flawed.
If you do eventually end up getting a divorce and ending things once and for all, make sure that you take the time to really look into all of your legal rights.
Source: Huffington Post, “Four Warning Signs on the Road to Divorce,” Jamie C. Williamson, accessed June 15, 2018
