Getting a divorce means something different to everyone. For many people, it is a difficult and emotional process that marks the end of an important time in their life. For others, a divorce could be the foundation on which they build their future. Emotions run rampant. The way that you feel and view divorce will absolutely inform the way that you strategize for and manage your divorce.
If you see it as a way to secure an official referendum against your ex for their behavior in your marriage, you may feel compelled to fight on almost every issue. On the other hand, if you view it as the beginning of a new life, you may want to get it over with quickly and keep things affordable.
The truth is that there is room for each of these approaches in any given divorce, provided that you maintain a level head when deciding what strategy to use. Sometimes, you need to really look at your wishes and priorities before moving forward with a divorce strategy or plan.
Compromise and cooperation benefit couples with children
If you have kids of any age, one of the most important things you can do is minimize the amount of negativity and conflict they witness and experience. Divorce has a way of making people aggressive in a manner they usually would not be. Sometimes, the children can wind up caught in the middle, with custody becoming the most hotly contested issue in your marriage.
If your family doesn't have to deal with worrisome issues like addiction or abuse, the courts are unlikely to award sole custody to either parent. The most likely outcome will be some form of shared custody. Finding the grace to compromise and work with your ex to set your own expectations for custody can be cathartic for both of you and the beginning of a positive parenting relationship.
Be ready to push back if your spouse tries to railroad you
Some people will do anything to gain the upper hand in divorce. They might claim, for example, that they want to go to court without an attorney, only to show up to the first hearing with an aggressive litigator. Your ex could also attempt to manipulate you into agreeing to terms that benefit them far more than they benefit you.
Your best choice is to prepare yourself to litigate the divorce and stand up for yourself against your ex. Discussing your concerns with an attorney is a good first step toward establishing a strategy for your divorce. Sometimes, the advice and perspective of a neutral third-party can help you make better decisions about how to handle the most important issues at the end of your marriage.