Communication is key when you are going through a divorce. The way that you communicate during this time can either help or hinder you. In an ideal situation, you will be able to be civil with your divorcing spouse, and you’ll be able to have sensible conversations about issues such as child custody and property division.

However, rarely is divorce communication so simple. You are likely to encounter difficulties when trying to reach compromises with your divorcing spouse, and you may find that any interaction that you have quickly escalates into toxic behavior.

You may feel that you are powerless to change the way that you communicate with your spouse because of their unreasonable behavior. However, this is far from the truth. By working on the way that you respond to their behavior, you will be able to vastly improve your communication. The following are some things that you should consider when working on your communication.

You have the responsibility to set boundaries

When you are going through a divorce, there are some fundamental things that need to change in your relationship and the way that you communicate. While it may be habitual to seek comfort in one another, it is healthy to set boundaries by avoiding this type of behavior. You should try to create boundaries that signify your independence, and consult them on necessary issues.

Keeping focused on one topic can prevent things from escalating

It’s easy for a conversation about one issue to quickly escalate and become an argument about what each spouse did or did not do in the past. This is never a healthy way to solve issues, and it will only lead to toxicity. If you notice that a conversation is going off-topic, try to bring the discussion back to the initial purpose.

Your tone can speak volumes

You may be saying all the right things, but if your tone sounds resentful, angry or bitter, it will only create a negative atmosphere. Be aware of your body language when you speak to your divorcing spouse and remember that it is just as important as what you say.

Going through a divorce is never easy, and strong communication will be necessary. Make sure that you are prepared for all the potential challenges that divorce can bring.